October 2011
6 posts
5 tags
"See, in the 'friend zone' you at least have a...
First rule of the “friend zone”:
Once you are in the “friend zone,” you will never leave the “friend zone” ever.
7 tags
The hardest I've laughed in a LONG time.
Person A: “Who actually enjoys taking poos? For real? Who enjoys that?”
Person B: “I don’t. You know what I like to do? I like to visit the old people at retirement homes…”
Everyone else: ~Oh.~ That’s good.~ Neat.~ Yea, sounds alright.~ Mmhmm.~
Person B: “…and I like to sing to them Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better.”
Everyone...
5 tags
Once you go Brett...
Brett: “Once you go Brett, you never go back.”
Jay: “Once you go Brett, you won’t regret.”
Brett: “Oh no. You’ll eventually regret it. You just won’t go back.”
"...perfect Slices EVERYTIME!!!"
Friend copying the Perfect Meatloaf commercial.
5 tags
"Look at the freak run. Haha. Was that too much?...
I didn’t answer him or say I thing and he just kept talking. Nothing he said made any sense….at all. In my mind I was going “the fuck?” (I’m Joe btw).
"...the Father, the Son, the Holy Ghost and Krispy...
I would attend church if it were run by Krispy Kreme.
September 2011
8 posts
8 tags
"Whats you do? I know what you did." "Whats I...
Oh Asian students and your broken English. I raffed so I rost.
6 tags
Yes...deep anal...
“It’s one of those deep anal itches. The ones that require a pointed object to get out. Like a clothespin.”
9 tags
"Aposlicity. Does this look familiar? Anyone know...
Of course the root word of aposilicity is apostle. Referring to the apostles in the bible. This came from my New Testament teacher. Picture if you will an Italian man who looks like a real life Gru from Despicable Me. That’s my teacher.
"Catch the blanket." "I can't. As you can clearly...
4 tags
They weren't even having a conversation...
“AH AH AHHH!”
“Hahahahaha.”
“AH AH!”
“Awww nigga. Damn nigga.”
“He gon get you!”
“AH AH AH! Boy man, cmon nigga.”
“Hahahahaha!”
5 tags
"...because she had hurr fangers in hurr eyelashes...
What the eff were they talking about?
5 tags
Caramel goodness.
“I love caramel.”
“That’s because it’s God’s jizz.”
“If caramel is God’s jizz, then I would be giving him a blowjob everyday.”
4 tags
The Lucky Charm Conspiracy
“…and the star, another Pagan symbol.”
“You obviously don’t know shit about Pagans.”
“YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT CEREAL!”